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We show our friends who they should date just to say we called it
But ain’t got a word worth its salt for their divorces.
The gold sprinkled well wishing didn’t bring the fairytale we fought for
It doesn’t sit well being the pied piper that failed recorder
We had the hats suits and the cake on order
The match was supposed to be their flavour but the aftertaste was salty
We thought we could create the blood that was thicker than water
Turned beef eater into a vegan sipping gin but ain’t got the tonic for them
Spy reporting shows some open doors yet never cuts the keys
When standing statuesque in the aisles feels a liberty who carried the torch?
It was a crocodile identifying as a dragon with the name of scorch
Yet the blaze sent them to Coventry, the land of the damned.
They’re hum drum making music from the one we banged
Some of us hope we’ll be a good catch on their rebound
When the penny drops we’ll flake like a 99
Wishing well until its fruit goes brown in the sunshine
The next will be the cream of the crop when your scooped
Some of our closest wont dare to tell us that we’re just VI Poo
The sweet smell before it all goes down
A royal flush only wins if we don’t overplay our hand
Only if what we’re dealing has not been banned

I admit it, I don’t Understand!

Generational or cultural expressions of what it is to be us in our natural and spiritual selves have in many cases been the foundations for who we are or have wanted to be. The expectations of those “passing the torch” may come with a pat on the head and a “be a good boy, do what I say and things will be fine” mantra. They are loaded with warnings and implied repercussions for disobedience.

In light of this, I have learned when to argue and when to keep my mouth shut. I have learned that by appearing to agree with them, I’m protecting myself from a storm of daggers and thunderbolts. I am protecting myself from the exertion of their demigod-like power for the sake of peace. I am shielding myself from myself because to expose that would be war.

Is it your duty to maintain or to advance?

At times I find myself trapped between a desire to maintain the best of what I have received, and build better versions of the worst. Within that are insecurities pertaining to the reception of my evolved view of the worlds I am in. There are also insecurities about knowing enough, being skilled or capable to deliver. Am I enough?

What I can say is that foundations require work. What held the initial version of you together may have to be revisited brick by brick. I am at that point.  I admit it, I don’t understand a number of things that relate to the worlds I belong to. The questions I have, are generated by a level of discomfort with varying structures, attitudes and practices. The byproduct of this is a greater understanding of what I consider to be important.

What I consider important may not line up with generational or cultural expressions or expectations. However, my level of comfort in articulating that through word and deed can only increase by acceptance of that fact. From there, as I know more, I become more. I can exchange old clothes for new clothes and accessories because I know my size, my shape, my style.

Humanity has many dimensions, it’s our duty to discover as many of ours possible.

 

Photo Credit: Jenny Harper Photography

Odd Future

They said I got a future, odd future gonna kill them all
Advice to ghettoise me, council hall
Playing a game, lacrosse, when they know I can ball
Don’t want to give the drummer some, it ain’t how they roll
All souped to speed past, it’s how they bowl
Call it autumn strike rate, my pedest fall
I’m red and sore, my head is raw
I’m not lion rich, I am bear paw
This eagle saw his eagle claw
Sharpened up his iron to blind them with a metaphor
It was cheesy season, like pizza breeze
Sold him every reason, one word sale of the 7 C’s
So he believes, he found his level,
Etched a sound, got an echo
Stamping ground, found a gecko
Angel in plain clothes, wrestled a devil
Took his head off, wouldn’t let go,
Decapitated, he was animated, selling vision
Restless chicken, he was built for giving
Resurrection, better living
This blessing was, born for stretching
That it did, yet the season stressed him
He got a taste, kept the bottle
American Histoy X’d him, full throttle
Called this apostle Chipotle flavoured Aristotle
Exotic carb the damned falafel too sweet to waffle,
Pigged out on truffles, learned to love the troubles
Hand n’ Heart like the Williams Sisters, Power doubles
Still its my level, not my arena, let me reign, I’ll bring Katrina
I need no pre-nup,
Caretaker climb, I only clean up
Yes they slimed me, Ghostbusters
Me myself and I, family trusts us
To make nice, this odd future
Tie love creation, karma’s suitors
To get it in, tailor Karma Sutra
To Make Life this odd future

The Couch

The Stronger my Ambition
Longer, harder the Journey is
Soul searching and Journal this
Researching like journalists
Heat Seeker arsenal I’m Sparring and spurning less
Boxing and Jarring yes
Spurring I’m arming best
Practice see there’s no white harte in this lane

Kill it not martyr lest
I barter my art in jest
Gold pounding my heart in chest
Treasure the hearty blessed
Moments so hard to get
Love keeps the heart in check
For wisdom boxed clever preserving this tardy wreck
Just tryin to keep my chart erect
Veering from why I’m elect
See rapping’s just a window pain
My life ain’t mete to burden blame when
will of the weak murders the profane

P.I. Like magnum ice
Want a shot of me pay the price
Toxic bars like Britney vice
Click clacking that’s just my type
Boom Bap’s just how it rides
3 syl a barrel sir name with a faction that factors Christ
Mack 10s grown over night
Celebrity is rolling dice
Pack of cards and poker nights
The house only wins if you control it right

Too many understand with their oversight
Clean off their soap boxes cos flow exposed their hype
Truth is a Thunder Bird, Parker bowling right
Solar rolled insight,
Capitalist phoenix parolled to light
Fallow fields, prodigal coals alike
Modal classic souls like me are sewn to write
Review the menu, choose a thought to bite
A taste to fight, feed a mind aka an appetite
See this skinny man’s living as he flicks out rhymes
I’m just Advised to Inspire, counsellor’s state of mind

To Myself & Anyone Else

It is easy to hide behind your thoughts when the actions you desire are apparently not under your control. Yet it is for you to enact plan B while plan A is still in the process of coming to fruition in order to give you the best possible chance of success.

knowing you have depth but believing the hype from the perception of your conceptual attribute is likely to endure you shallow

Not all seeds planted in key times of your life need to remain throughout your life. Some of them are now weeds that choke the real you – prevent you from flourishing fully. Whether that  be bad advice that has lead you away from what you believed you were destined for or for that matter experiences that opened you up yet your closed off to new things because your “chasing the dragon”  that is to say the initial highs you had.

If you have worked hard over a period and been rewarded for it drectly or indirectly take that as the harvest of your hard work – rest and then start planting again.  You cannot wait for a supplier to give you the seed that you should plant – someitmes you have to seek that which will capture you and bloom the best.

A friend asked me recently – if you are trying to get someone’s attention and it seems that being yourself is not enough – do you change or give up?  My answer is this – you have to know why you want the attention and how it will benefit you should you gain it. Who measures what is and what isn’t good enough? If being yourself on merit does not get you there and you are determined nonetheless to gain the attention of that person or group – then you need recognise what is  key  to you – what is uncompromisable in all scenarios about you – then build around that. Be prepared for the attention not to last long even if you get it.