Tag Archives: friendship

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We show our friends who they should date just to say we called it
But ain’t got a word worth its salt for their divorces.
The gold sprinkled well wishing didn’t bring the fairytale we fought for
It doesn’t sit well being the pied piper that failed recorder
We had the hats suits and the cake on order
The match was supposed to be their flavour but the aftertaste was salty
We thought we could create the blood that was thicker than water
Turned beef eater into a vegan sipping gin but ain’t got the tonic for them
Spy reporting shows some open doors yet never cuts the keys
When standing statuesque in the aisles feels a liberty who carried the torch?
It was a crocodile identifying as a dragon with the name of scorch
Yet the blaze sent them to Coventry, the land of the damned.
They’re hum drum making music from the one we banged
Some of us hope we’ll be a good catch on their rebound
When the penny drops we’ll flake like a 99
Wishing well until its fruit goes brown in the sunshine
The next will be the cream of the crop when your scooped
Some of our closest wont dare to tell us that we’re just VI Poo
The sweet smell before it all goes down
A royal flush only wins if we don’t overplay our hand
Only if what we’re dealing has not been banned

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Filed under Relationships

Brothers in Season

If you listen to the movies, life happens when you don’t make plans. Materially successful people will sell you a book that tells you to make plans for your plans.

If I’d had my way I would have changed career and left this city long ago. It would all have been on my terms and conditions, there wouldn’t be any of this, beyond your control malarkey.

When the mist of Christmas cleared, I was thrust into a spiral that at times became a whirlwind of despair and frustration. There were days when I couldn’t face the mirror let alone the world, days where I didn’t want to hear my own thoughts or superficial well-wishing. Give me what I need or leave me alone was the sentiment. I believed I had to roll with the punches and keep the scars hidden. The blessing in the storm was that for my sanity, I wasn’t allowed to do that.

For me, the darkness that descended occupied 3 out 4 seasons this year. Despite the fears, the tears, the rants and the rejections I find myself grateful for the unexpected brotherhoods that have developed. Support networks of guys who somehow appeared when I’ve needed them to keep the light on for me.

I’m thankful for the school friend who introduced me to a global group of like-minded guys who were open about their struggles and gave each other support.

I’m thankful for the Man Up project which has given me a greater understanding of the journeys to and through masculinity. I’ve been able to drop a mask or two and find acceptance waiting for me. I have learned that masculinity cannot truly be taught from one-dimension.

I’m thankful for my brother CJ who has been the general on the ground who doesn’t use “how are you?” as a greeting.

By the end of August, I will have told my story to a few hundred strangers. At some point, I’ll have new colleagues to create new stories with. It may take time to recognise all the lessons that this season within seasons has taught me.

However, the one I resonate with the most is that life is a team effort. As we understand each other, we grow, we become ourselves, we fly higher and sew into new teams.

For this, I am thankful.

 

Photo credit: Rob Mcleod

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Filed under Just Living

7 A.M.

20170401_192908About to be the 3, 5, I’m laid up with teenage fever.

Feeling like Janet Jackson without the safety of a pre-nup

Our roads, different, we ran on petrol and diesel

Our roads different, supposedly Adidas and Asics,

Drumming our bases, we found laces/ electrifying connections like both worlds were tasered

Face to face we were a fumbling fortress of ferocious fondness

Maybe I’d been chasing Amy or maybe Gin met Tonic

See London at 1.30 birthed 7am in Germany

Had to check mate like we were head to toe in Burberry.

The bucket list met a vision causing intercontinental collision

Audibly adrenaline was all the way up, like it was a day of ascension.

There were starry eyed smiles brighter than Borealis,

The aura of sharp shooters turned battlefields to gardens

How do you spend time with someone and feel like you’ve left with a bargain?

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Filed under Random Poetics

How to Approach a Year (52/1)

The tidal rain of mirrors falls without hailing
A crowd surfing eulogy is read at rip tide speed
12 gun salute followed by six minutes and five seconds of silence
Our love is now driftwood on fleeting memories

These are my waves goodbye

Food mountains carved from grey matter.
Street parties powered by lamp posts
I climbed the ladder because I ate the most
From chattering classes I learned a bit.
Our weary aire was rare.

I combed the heirs of her sojourn
Cleaned my clock to know the time
Threw stones at glass houses so my seeds can breathe the sun
I have just begun, because
Eye opened

Eating from tableaus is unhealthy
More than an earthen vessel filled with spirits
I am the bar
To resurrect or drown need chips on the table
I check my hand and look to the dealer
I call….

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Filed under 52 Week Challenge

You didn’t know

Have you ever been picked at
Like Prince, Hendrix and Santana fighting for the best solo at the same time on the same guitar
Have you ever been kicked around the park because you couldn’t see in the dark
Pinched every time you flinched because one finger held a fork wrong
Been stabbed by a forked tongue,
Bruised like fallen apples though you’d barely been a seed
Have you ever started to bleed so much your heart screamed in silence
Caressed by looks of violence
Wisdom deemed disrespectful to age
Pulped in a bloody rage because manhood was not a life stage and
Now they choose to perform….on you
Travails dismissed like the truth in a court of kangaroos and Joeys
but
Nobody wants to know how you doin
Cold shoulders 360 below zero only warm to being a hero if like a fish
You are battered
Warmed to proving that the only demands that matter aren’t yours
When all you remember is the pause while you got played
Have you ever faced war on your best earth for not being the right gradient
For achieving Palladium not platinum and for them its embarrassing
Have you ever
Ever been made to work now and play later because it will pay later
Only to end up in debt to time
Spending all your life on the grind and rarely flowering
Showered in towering cynicisms because even when its not a sin it, just isn’t
Good enough
Find yourself good at stuff but you ain’t rough and tumble enough
Too humble, too nice, you help folk walk
Youo stumble through sacrifice to sacrifice and all they do is
Ink a black mark over a bad start
Nobody holds a ladder or a door you look to the river for help
All you see are black stars
Have you ever,
Been picked at like a vulture and an eagle fighting for antelope
Only to find with your best qualities folk elope into the distance
Like all your time and persistence and divine given visions were stolen
And all those principles they told you never to break were broken
by those who broke you and built you to know them
Have you ever
Had to provide a tour through a city of many gates and turns
Where road burns and cuts gave way to the if’s and buts yet still
You found a way to feel until the moment they got real and left
Have you never
Wanted attention despite being nurtured ot be pensive
That when you cry danger folk call you defensive or overly sensitive before they
choke you
I don’t know if they told you that I have
I don’t know if you know how if feels to be the last one earth in an overcrowded citadel
I don’t know if you will ever know like I do but now
You know me well

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Filed under Just Living