Tag Archives: weight

Halfway House

“One day your metabolism will slow down and your appetite will catch up with you.”

“Go to the gym now so that you don’t have to work as hard when you’re older”

“You look OK from the back but you’re a mess from the front”

“I like that you’ve got something to hang on to”

Being physically appealing from the neck down has never appealed to me. However, as time has gone on, despite eating healthy without calorie counting, my lifestyle has impacted what I can wear. In 2017 I was wearing hoodies 24/7 to disguise my burgeoning belly despite walking 30 miles a week.

By the end of 2018, I had outgrown even the new shirts and had begun to wear a big jumper over what I had. I looked at myself in the mirror with disgust and shame. Even the stress of work couldn’t take away from the fact that I was a mess, and I couldn’t trust myself to do a solo workout in the gym I’d signed up to.

I saw that an 8-week challenge was about to happen at my gym (True Grit Training) and thought I’d give it a go. High-intensity circuit training wasn’t new to me, I’d done “caveman training” beforehand lost some weight. However, the Paleo diet they preached wasn’t for me, I resented the food choices available. Heck, this week I’ve eaten cauliflower for the first time in about 3 / 4 years.

The first 3D scan told me I was practically a chocolate Buddha standing at just over 6ft tall – my heaviest in 10 years. This time I couldn’t rely on a messy break up to lose a stone in a week, it would be sheer hard work and disciplined eating. I sought to motivate myself over the long term so I set my weight target for the year and not the program. I also adjusted my approach to eating this time around. Rather than have a specialised set of foods for the purpose of the program, I chose to apply the lower carb higher protein principle to what I would eat on a regular basis.

In practice, the evening meals have been the same mix of fish, white and red meat with rice or sweet potatoes that I eat week in week out. Breakfasts and lunches have seen switches away from cereals and sandwiches or heavier cooked meals.

After 40 classes over 8 weeks, days before my final scan, I am ready to treat myself. I know I’ve lost over a stone in weight, I am one waist size down in formal trousers. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see a crazy amount of change in my shape. What I do see, is a man who is on the right path, a man who has put his mind to a mix of extreme, spinning, strength and other circuit classes. I don’t yet have the body I want but to paraphrase Bon Jovi, oh ….I’m halfway there.

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Filed under Just Living, Non Poetic Blogs

End of Term

Passion and style

If I left would you cry?

Tears of a child

Because you missed me or just why

Did it take this while?

To collate my list of demands

Free my style

Mature my inner child

Stop being servile

By your insecurity riled

Being comfortable doesn’t mean secure in my eyes

Needing surety, I compromised on purity

Subtle slave to your self

I delved for clues in me

Could I call it fickle or

Your faux insecurity

Lines have been drawn for me

I saw the outline

You coloured in accordingly

It’s always been there but I ignored it see

I’ve been apt in my use of tact

I’ve not snapped or lacked the wisdom to help you act

Quietly tracked and with love backed

Left you to own the action without suspicion

That’s fact not fiction

Tried to motivate and be uplifting

Now I’m parked at the gate of need with keys in the ignition

See I know weight is an issue

Grown around it so I’ve not used it to abuse or diss you

Yet this thing is only still going because it fits your hand

I had dreams very grand but the blueprint is being buried in the sand

If I could sculpt you it’d be with a hammer and sickle

I’m sick of your fickle, precipitation trickle,

Sweet and tough like peanut brittle

But with time running out we’re just

Brittle

Yet I’m gaining in strength

It’s a little false that you say I raise and dent

Your confidence

When you acknowledge you need to lose weight

Go the gym for some days straight

Its big show how much you go

But 3 weeks later put on weight

You always seem to make it a we thing

I’m acting to lose weight to but I’ve told you from the off it’s a you and me thing

I can’t be our battery and engine

Your say you’re sick of being the fat girl

Treated like the fat girl

If you don’t want to be that you’ve really got to act girl

I know its hard getting started and to build endeavour

I protect you from outside pressure but I’m feeling more stressed out than ever

How much more can I give before I give up for ever?

Say my family’s throwing crap at you just by saying you need to lose weight

I remember you dumped and were ready to jump to a first date

Used to tell me every week who wants your number

Who’s chatting you up

Who keeps looking in your direction

No I’m not perfection but my loyalty is being tested

I compromised on something I lived for all my life

I sacrificed and had thoughts of you being my wife

But I’ve realised you’re my first and had to open my eyes

I’m doing my part to fulfil your needs, your desires

I don’t start many fires and you’ve not fired my circumstances at me

But the one thing in I need I’m not been given see

It all comes down to R.E.S.P.E.C.T

This man cannot live alone on your personality

I love substance but you’ve got to be attractive to me

Not just attracted to me

I can’t be in the company of your friends anymore thinking which of them is a better match for me

I know who would instantly get approval from the family

Buts its not about that,

P.S. I love you

Actually

See I’m struggling because this issue is bubbling

We’re going to burst if you don’t stop ignoring it subtly

It would quench my thirst if this issue was removed double quick

Be the change to see the change and be done with it

I’ve lit the torch, taken the baton, been burnt but still I’ve run with it

Enough is enough

I’ve been through the valleys to change me now it’s your turn

Will you be here to love me or will you be leaving at the end of term

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