Tag Archives: weakness

Paper Thin Walls

paper thin walls
Paper thin walls
They keep mixing colours
Blending her out
On those paper thin walls
Paper can’t cover the cracks
On those paper thin walls
A doodle draws a whimper
The thought of making murals musters mournful murmurs from those paper thin walls

Passed around like a guest book at a funeral
The feeling fading as they drive away
The whitewash isn’t cleansing
A broken slate is never wiped clean
She is only 15
Miss Paper Thin Walls

Laying bricks, roofless
All her rocks are demons dancing in the sea of safety
Her will shredded like leaked script pages
She’s an over plucked daisy
On her knees she a dress maker seeking out hope like a lost sequin
Wondering where was God when man destroyed the self she’d believed in

Miss Paper Thin Walls pores over scattered bricks
From the many times her box has been ticked she’s an exam in herself
Exiled from affection, ignoring the laws of attraction.
Hands that reach her are fractured to heal her scars
When she’s fully built she may be chasing cars
For now…..she’s in thrall to the casket of cat calls
These travails are an ailment of which no ointment can heal
When she’s fully built she’ll bruise the serpent’s head and heal
She’ll no longer be Miss Paper Thin Walls

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Filed under Society

To my friend

To that friend

That friend that calls themselves your friend or my friend

That friend who says they’re there for you to the end

Want to know all of your friends and has that hand to lend

That real talk believer, wont take your attitude but give you all of theirs yet they’re no diva

That friend who believes time and respect is the great healer

That friend who wants to quarterback your life and make you nothing more than an advice receiver

Yeah I’m talking about that friend

That friend who your bosom they’ll cleave to when they find they’re in the middle of a pickle and life replaces lemons with limes

That friend who claims to love your lines and finds a way to occupy your time and run up your phone bill because life, it just aint fine

Or that friend who loves to run their gums about their bonus dollars and dimes, their funny times and

stuff you really don’t mind but, step out of the norm like you left the divine for a penny sweet and a spit polish shoe shine

Those real talkers went AWOL when my relationship didn’t fit their design

I’ll be honest I don’t know about your friends but I know about mine

They disappeared offline.

Agreed to attend a celebration of my birthday then suddenly declined

Didn’t show with no apparent reasoning behind

Don’t want to tell me their business but want to know about mine

Asking about me but never approaching in a straight line,

I recall several times when there was a mutual connection as well as them and I online they but they couldn’t say hi

That same friend later telling me about don’t come to me crying saying I’ve got no friends and their soul is cleansed because they tried to be mine

Really?

When they used me as the safe guy before getting engaged to someone with the same name and I had to find out through the grapevine

Why

I’m talking about that friend

Those so-called friends, good folk who you know have potential to climb

The ones on your level to sharpen your mind, sharpen your iron

Who quickly got hot and left you steaming like cheapened iron

Yeah those friends

See this is to that friend that old school friend who went to the same school back in the old fool days

When you in your young old fool ways would crack jokes in youthful bliss

Say I didn’t do it miss then Valentines day say I fancy you Miss so and so

Oh how I reminisce about those days with my old school friend

One said he’d thought about me a lot in the 15 years since that time came to an end

Hearing his story how he’d been in and out of prison

Got two kids and he’s struggling to hold down jobs but he knows he has to hustle for nothing is a given

I say my struggles been different,

We chose to live through vicarious vision but let us resume our friendship my friend

This time let’s take it to the end,

Time would see that bridge lose its bend and become flat but then

My resumed friend decided to use a Facebook page, see even though thy could call my mobile they though it would be all the rage to

Publicly disintegrate my respect because they chose to demonstrate

Why it would be a bad idea to reintegrate them fully into my life as a true friend

Cursing out folk I knew claiming it was a joke and sending them and I abusive messages even though I told them to step off as I knew where it would end

They didn’t heed the warning so I told them to man up …Friend

And even though I thought they’re perfect for their love who I had a crush on in primary school I heard from her about how jailbird started acting the fool,

As she’s my friend I believe he ought to treat her right and all

Yet I still hope for progression rather than regression, finally learn their lesson

And though her heart will wretch and bend I hope she can be his true friend even if our connection must end

See to move on from your past sometimes you got to put it on blast and let it propel you into your future care-free

See my parents always told me to choose my friends carefully

I like to think that my friends will draw close to me if I walk prayerfully

So many children masquerade as adults and breathe so much air for me that I wonder if there’s a pin in the sky waiting to pop their balloon of fakery

I’m not saying I’m the perfect connect I’ve eaten humble pie but I don’t live near the bakery

I’m just saying that so-called no man is an island thing aint floating because this man could be an island My island is being built and its taking its time

Yet  I don’t want to live there in thought, deed or in rhyme

See I’m steadily learning from all your mistakes and all of mine

What it takes, to be, a true friend

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Filed under Just Living

End of Term

Passion and style

If I left would you cry?

Tears of a child

Because you missed me or just why

Did it take this while?

To collate my list of demands

Free my style

Mature my inner child

Stop being servile

By your insecurity riled

Being comfortable doesn’t mean secure in my eyes

Needing surety, I compromised on purity

Subtle slave to your self

I delved for clues in me

Could I call it fickle or

Your faux insecurity

Lines have been drawn for me

I saw the outline

You coloured in accordingly

It’s always been there but I ignored it see

I’ve been apt in my use of tact

I’ve not snapped or lacked the wisdom to help you act

Quietly tracked and with love backed

Left you to own the action without suspicion

That’s fact not fiction

Tried to motivate and be uplifting

Now I’m parked at the gate of need with keys in the ignition

See I know weight is an issue

Grown around it so I’ve not used it to abuse or diss you

Yet this thing is only still going because it fits your hand

I had dreams very grand but the blueprint is being buried in the sand

If I could sculpt you it’d be with a hammer and sickle

I’m sick of your fickle, precipitation trickle,

Sweet and tough like peanut brittle

But with time running out we’re just

Brittle

Yet I’m gaining in strength

It’s a little false that you say I raise and dent

Your confidence

When you acknowledge you need to lose weight

Go the gym for some days straight

Its big show how much you go

But 3 weeks later put on weight

You always seem to make it a we thing

I’m acting to lose weight to but I’ve told you from the off it’s a you and me thing

I can’t be our battery and engine

Your say you’re sick of being the fat girl

Treated like the fat girl

If you don’t want to be that you’ve really got to act girl

I know its hard getting started and to build endeavour

I protect you from outside pressure but I’m feeling more stressed out than ever

How much more can I give before I give up for ever?

Say my family’s throwing crap at you just by saying you need to lose weight

I remember you dumped and were ready to jump to a first date

Used to tell me every week who wants your number

Who’s chatting you up

Who keeps looking in your direction

No I’m not perfection but my loyalty is being tested

I compromised on something I lived for all my life

I sacrificed and had thoughts of you being my wife

But I’ve realised you’re my first and had to open my eyes

I’m doing my part to fulfil your needs, your desires

I don’t start many fires and you’ve not fired my circumstances at me

But the one thing in I need I’m not been given see

It all comes down to R.E.S.P.E.C.T

This man cannot live alone on your personality

I love substance but you’ve got to be attractive to me

Not just attracted to me

I can’t be in the company of your friends anymore thinking which of them is a better match for me

I know who would instantly get approval from the family

Buts its not about that,

P.S. I love you

Actually

See I’m struggling because this issue is bubbling

We’re going to burst if you don’t stop ignoring it subtly

It would quench my thirst if this issue was removed double quick

Be the change to see the change and be done with it

I’ve lit the torch, taken the baton, been burnt but still I’ve run with it

Enough is enough

I’ve been through the valleys to change me now it’s your turn

Will you be here to love me or will you be leaving at the end of term

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Filed under Relationships