Tag Archives: sadness

Dusted

leaving home

I was a Lego brick on heaven’s tables with ambitions of being Babel

It would be gravy if I trained well.

I wore the King James label like Air Jordans as an enabler to tap the mike

Cutting shapes for the sake of grand designs lit the eyes.

This mind was primed to freehand more than stencil.

The palette was filled with many colours yet I could only use one

Chew the word and bite your tongue, a babbling baby is free speech.

Slap you with psalms 1 -1 take the p when they reach

They besmirch and beseech the only souls that matter are those of their feet.

Watch how you breathe for Bruce Banner can’t stand spanners in the manor.

What’s love for the poets if you put slammers in the slammer.

Play hangman with every hang up, kill a so-called joker if they stand up

Raise your voice or raise the standard, one day I put my hands up

See I’d chewed on the green grass of home like it was magnanimous manna

How can you be two-faced if you don’t know you’ve got a mask on?

Why fight when I was rapt in the moment that my modem connected.

I didn’t know the download had been infected.

Exceptions and rules wisdom and fools the best fell afoul of while many played chicken.

To challenge was to play hopscotch in a minefield.

Jet fuel from a pulpit could melt your steel if you didn’t have the minerals

They built you so they can kill you.

They built you so they can kill, you.

I’d heed them and repent for I’m a heathen, seedling of evil if I believed them.

I counted years as days, days as hours, hours as minutes and in 15 I’d lost 30

In his eyes were fire and from his mouth swords but this revelation was not written by John.

The shoes I walked in were gone. Was heaven under new management?

Thought I was strapped in! Madness!

Stunned, I snapped into a coma, knowing I could explode at any moment.

Burnt by the cold and homeless, I should have known this was coming.

As the truth created fractions, my history was flagged to be deleted.

I learned that secrets were common knowledge and life hacking wasn’t to make things easier

So I vowed I wouldn’t give them flowers when they’ve kicked the bucket just to keep up appearances.

I’m no longer dumbfounded by the conceited for the mask has fallen.

They put karma’s face on the coin so I dare them to call it.

 

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Filed under Random Poetics

Drifter

Watching a Father losing his son in front of his eyes.

Seeing the screams barricade his heart in the name of strength

Like the last drop of water rung from a spun load

A tear fell

Traffic stopped, my eyes gazed sky wards

Watching my Father like a worn watch

Praying for time, wondering what will happen when

It happens

There’s a first time for everything they say

He hugs me now with more strength than he ever disciplined me with

We are old friends that once were foes

It’ll soon be time for me to complete the circle

I hope we can hula hoop, if but for a moment

Though some stone him, his shoes I have grown in

Shunning the shade of shalom with my mother’s tongue

I am my Father’s son,

Enlightened I wonder when that which will be has come

Will I be bound or free

Torn between his life and my existence

Conflicted.

A little boy lost

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Filed under Just Living

Blues on The Piste

Five years

Time served

Pining for her

10 months

Collapsed lungs

Lost love

You’ll never bring them back

No four warning

Dumb, dumb

Forever ever

Numb

Co-ordinate

Pack the case

On four tune out

You’ll never bring them back

History doesn’t think twice

No Sleep in the house of rest

Wrestling the lull of bye

Secrets open as I closes

You’ll never bring them back

History and legacy

Now the Old Testament

Like sold memorabilia

You’ll never bring them back

You’ll never bring them back

You’ll never bring them back

You’ll never bring them back

You’ll never bring her back

You used to have it all ……but now

Silence is murder

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Paper Thin Walls

paper thin walls
Paper thin walls
They keep mixing colours
Blending her out
On those paper thin walls
Paper can’t cover the cracks
On those paper thin walls
A doodle draws a whimper
The thought of making murals musters mournful murmurs from those paper thin walls

Passed around like a guest book at a funeral
The feeling fading as they drive away
The whitewash isn’t cleansing
A broken slate is never wiped clean
She is only 15
Miss Paper Thin Walls

Laying bricks, roofless
All her rocks are demons dancing in the sea of safety
Her will shredded like leaked script pages
She’s an over plucked daisy
On her knees she a dress maker seeking out hope like a lost sequin
Wondering where was God when man destroyed the self she’d believed in

Miss Paper Thin Walls pores over scattered bricks
From the many times her box has been ticked she’s an exam in herself
Exiled from affection, ignoring the laws of attraction.
Hands that reach her are fractured to heal her scars
When she’s fully built she may be chasing cars
For now…..she’s in thrall to the casket of cat calls
These travails are an ailment of which no ointment can heal
When she’s fully built she’ll bruise the serpent’s head and heal
She’ll no longer be Miss Paper Thin Walls

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Thank You

Reunited with Grandad

Reunited with Grandad

Can’t believe this is goodbye
I can’t remember my first hello but I still…remember you
Life is that circle that I want to make square right now
Time showed you eternity and dressed you in heaven
Thank you for the father you leave me with
Thank you for every word that came from the heart of God in you
Thank you for showing me his face when I couldn’t see my way
Thank you for being a rock for the family
Thank you for being there
Life happens but in death you still fought
It’s like in the heat of a battle that was not yours as you left through the door
You left the message that the battle is not ours
Your latter showed you greater than the sum of us
It doesn’t add up how you the ever present is now past
You are the gift I’ve been able to unwrap
So I say thank you

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Filed under Just Living

I hope she cheats on you!

Image

I hope she cheats on you
I hope she locks eyes with him like a sniper rifle in a night sandstorm
Exchanging heat seeking glances that makes her skin dance the nut cracker
As her sugar walls melt into liquid caramel at the scent of a hawk circling
And her hips start gurgling the flow of his fitted polo neck that drapes his 2 litre turbo engine
Swaying like the hands of time on his watch and you ain’t even clocked him
I hope she works the room at her convenience store of lust
Serving tantalising tremors with each touch and his eyes light up the earth
As she crosses Jordan to Canaan as you the Abel want to turn to Cain now cos
Your sugar’s ready to be felt cos she feels her strawberry fields deserrve better
I hope she makes out he’s a friend but the sweat drips slowly as she wraps her arms around his neck
Inviting him to the party you’re supposed to attend and bends over so he can comprehend Boadicea’s bountiful bosom
I hope their lips perform the duet their minds wrote across the room and encore on repeat
Scratching your record of being a smooth criminal like Grandmaster Flash was on the decks
Every peck on her neck causes her eyes to inflect ecstasy that you took for granted
I hope you’re there standing with a high definition view wondering if this moment is defining you
The sore us, is the meaning of pride raw uncut before you
I hope your heart feels like a serrated edge is passing along every nerve as you
Stand there thinking she’s your life, your girl, she’s your wife, your girl
You’re the lord of the rings and he’s just Smiegel,
You’re the one supposedly fighting evil, I hope you see her leaving
Hand in hand with the king before she crowns him and you’re drowning in rapid rivers of despair
I hope you arrive home just to hear what you didn’t want to
I hope you listen to every giggle, every last word he tells her
How she’s beautiful, best he’s ever had, never wants to leave her
Wants more of the night they just had
I hope you’re there in the morning to hear it all again
Raucous till they collapses happy like (the record company) Rawkus feeling fortunate to the rafters
See the glisten pouring from her forehead and ripples of laughter
Hangs on every word like a pendant on an indie chick
I hope he makes you sick and want to commit acts you’d never think to commit
As she cooks him breakfast like it was the first day of a beautiful life sentence
Replaces your plans with his in a second because his word is a bond with license to protect hers
Trims the bets your hedging that you’ll be the one to lecture her
See the man she’ll be dating will be that light with a vengeance
See the man she’s making hay with, is your reflection
I said I hope she cheats on you
To bring you to repentance

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Filed under Random Poetics

Teardrops

You said it’s ok to cry sometimes
But I don’t know
If I should

Alarm bells ring like wind chimes
The rhythm of the breeze stings my
Naked soul as sit in the snow my
Chest exposing the hole
Widened with each choke of your
Fire and smoke that I
Crawl under each lump in my throat
Your pleasantries
Energies like mis-sold loans
Dance in the space I once called home
I yearn and grown to be filled by one
Touch yet my reflection Is
Not enough for me and you
Have insight yet still

You said it’s ok to cry sometimes
But I don’t know
If I should

When we’ve stepped to the floor
Violins violently play off course
Swayed by the question of what chord
Are we playing.
Want are we saying doth need
I must bleed the trust speech
Before getting up to speed
For our erosion
Will we be on like Trojan or off like toe jam
Two angels on your shoulder
Your head knots, there’s no light
So you hold back and thank me

You said it’s ok to cry sometimes
But I don’t know
If I should

I’m welling up, dam
Losing my cool bucketing
Playing the fool like your luck was in
Cos only fools fall in love right?
Wrong, wrong, wrong again
I got wise now I’m stuck again
No safety, no heart
I was a safe choice unsafe from the start
I traded instincts for art
Got a mass produced item
Another nice person trophy
I’ve got another thousand like em
My blood boils, I’m ready to stop writing
But I can’t
Without you this thing wouldn’t be kiting

You said it’s ok to cry sometimes
But I don’t know
If I should

I’m flooding my world
Adam’s got no Eve again
Just memories of every type of loss
Collect my heart from thieves again
Turn the bass up and breathe again
Die to the world and dream again
Wake up to get hurt, pick up pen vent spleen again
Cos though you said it’s ok to cry sometimes
This I can’t do
Without you
Yes I know it’s ok to cry sometimes
But this time
Tears just wont do
Any more

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Filed under Relationships