Tag Archives: Hurt

FROM

Image result for journey

Snap chat masking me

What is Masculinity?

His story is mine.

Wheels of the divine?

Magnolia tears screeching

Preaching can’t reach in

Chat rooms and emails

Soul ties and habits

Are they devils or detail?

Masculinity

On the ropes and off the rails

All is vanity

All I’ve got is me

Hands low chin tucked backing up.

Trying to give a

Swing for upper crust

Walk on to the uppercut

Dying to give a

Mourning a mauling

Stabbing at stepping forward

Falling without love.

Ballads and parables

Man of cool to manacles

Just a wailing wall

 

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Clay More

I am moulded
Folded
Kneaded to need
Pressed to suck seed and…squeeze
Produce prose juice
Spill rose beds on to you
In spitting distance of spite
In ear shot of noon
I am burdened
With the song of clouds and pigeon rhythms
Blessed to be cursed
Stung to be strung out
On the air of a me string I am
Slung
Like a violinist tossing his bow
Wrapping the present in anything but
Rhymes
Despised by breath unless
I am mint
Spear type sparing ribs
Mete for my Adamic nature
Seeking soft walls for alternation
Conversation without mirrors
Smoke without tobacco because to you
I am not a killer
As yet for you I am
The cigarette
A hussy
Stolen four stripes dressed as three
The methadone
The 5% you drink before you leave
False claims ensuring insurance
Reassurance
Can I exhale?
Is it safe to stretch as I open my eyes
Dare I fetch my new clothes
No
The glare of 4 chords in odious clothing gleams
My nerve endings scream
Murder!
With 6 feet I am pressed down
Moulded
Folded
This has, was and remains
A slaughter house
Bloody reams,
Tribute stanzas rife
My lecherous knife slicing the rotten veins of
Mother earth
A smoking pig
A stain on your very ecru mind
An unchained rhyme
A son with darkened rays
I am the scourge of days
A Poet

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Sticking Cells

You say, you have, been treated,
Like an, after, thought in his world
You say, you feel so deceived it,
Bothers you to let yourself unfurl
I know, I’ve not, been perfect,
Yet I was, not that, guy
I am, newness, hoping, to be trueness,
How can we be if we simply don’t try
See it feels, like, I am paying for,
The pain that, he’s left inside
I know, heartaches they stay raw
Yet I can’t, let hurt reside

I know, butterflies, are feelings
I don’t, want yours, to leave so soon,
I can’t, be your babe, if you’re just, playing games
I’ve no, allegiance, to your gloom

Cos I have been broken, by the love I once enshrined
Now I have been woken, to the possibility, it’s the right time

Though, many, many, many, many, men
Would be put off, by your sullen flames
I’ll say, again, again, again, again
You ain’t a trophy, you wont be, this ain’t a game
And it would, be folly
To cut my losses, and try to win without you
I’m about, my business
There’s no balancing it without you

I want to be fly with you, draw
Swim as angel wings through the clouds
I want to fly…..be fly with you
Banishing thunderbolts of doubt

White robes and eternity
I’ll show you what unfading star means
This love is burning me
Can we grow deeper into good ground?

It’s not about making love
till we’ve been made in love
I don’t wan’t that break-in love
Though we ache in love
Cos you are my forethought
Our love is blood bought
And I think of you all the time

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Rain of the Damned (Collab w/ Destiny Equality)

You make me nervous with emotions
that have my head spinning
love is quickening like an overdue foetus within my womb
labour pains from insanity clinging to dear life now
you call me an emotional leach a puppy begging for scraps
something synonymous with the clap
scabs come from fine g owning up to my faults
i don’t bargain with the devil even if i am evil according to her
these hurt feelings go deeper and i can’t be found
for me i am too far gone 2b proud even if the volume is loud
~
You sliced open my vein with your vanity
The cult of insanity panic filled piety
Anemic desires ride the wave of my red cells
No white flag for this war of contrition
Iambic bells ring in my grey matter colouring my meter
Sheltering my necrosis,
My cries peter out for the hand that beats me as it feeds me
I’m a fiend for the fight and bite
Can’t always be a designer light
I yearn for a refining sight, an injection of a lighter plight
A flight of fantasy with out plans to dismantle me
So many spit bars, simply to manhandle me
Am I star or just a rock passed around by the bulls
Precipitating lakers I burn from the glare of green and red eyes

~
I am impaled with hurt feelings angels with tainted wings
tainted stains of embezzlement there is no turning back
there is no justice always orders of chaos eons go onward
that seem appealing unimportant non withstanding
mentalities that are as strong as lizards tongues
small changes and frail refrains what have i become
since vanity is my defaulting reality players become revolting
after all snitches get there throats slashed
and nice guys finish last
some can exacerbate on this
here fate which is tainted with hate
make sure when you come
come correct i expect these feelings to endure
its a war of words a heart unheard
kicking rocks at dirt with measured worth
spurts of rainbows become halos with flames exploding
eroding the essence of expression second guessing
what we wrap around the truth

~
Yet your lies stand up ass straight in a bed of knives
Cut in the dead of nights cursing the day break
Me off at the roots cos all I have is black thoughts
Rolling like credits through my movements end game
They mutter like hidden scenes, their refrain is in their pen game
Breaking the rules of pengagement its time I married the sonic boom
Got some guile in this moment to break the legions of doom
It’s like I’m wrestling a butterfly with a lizard tongue that only wants to kiss me
I long to bloom without the act of diss me till I miss me

~
there is a tidal wave of purging
asinine regurging almost verbatim
go on an hate on me while i hate on you
i know a jewel you will never have the currency for
the wickedness thinking you know it all
all you do is fall quicker then humpty dumptys walls
think i would get caught up call my bluff
7 years of bad luck don’t combine
with 7 years of no dick
you wish you had that opposite purity
so relationships become cumbersome
just to get an injection of his erection
bitch butch touch the flame is it hot enough
could you distance yourself
some just flipflop through ageless time warps
no recourse in these forms
its always these bad feelings that keep me waning

~
The way your framing this you’re fraying
Random aiming, Donkey braying,
Too much time on your knees but ain’t no muslim praying
Monkey see monkey do so call it Tarzan Janing
This melodies unchaining, remedy’s enslaving
Diana car crash live, my memories en-graving
Yeah I know I come for some
Heart heavy call it cumbersome
Dark mood ejaculation fcuk me I’m a come for sun
Bend it over till it moons make it toss my ballad
Watch green eyes roll and call it tossing salad
You floss, your haggard, drop your scabbard
Life’s a game and a dance I will not be daggered
Murked by your machina muerte
Call it the sound of a mud hound as I sniff out earthly
Pretenders to my place and among the celestial
No longer the bestial
For too long have these kickstands masqueraded as pedestals

~

too much cruelty in this bitchass reality
it sits sourly upon my stomach
too much heartache that can plummet
call it a summit a novelty were used too
love seems cowardly when everyone is nervous
heartless cougars brutally shed tears at playboy years
time is up amongst pyramids and kings
bloodstains on white sheets virgin beats
while HIV runs itself ramped in the streets
its chaos with poetic crayons
get strung along the way love
while players play with guns and shoot
never finding there way to the roots
thinking its cute to hold hostages
its preposterous at this point
but who cares to hear from
dark clouds that fall down
since we all do
hurt feelings…

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Don’t know how

Windows smashed with bricks of cocaine

Broken glass, swept up again

I’m off the latch, my heart’s unchained

But I’ve got no change

I’ve banked on the pain

See I’m pondering despondent ponds

Wondering where I’ve gone

I don’t know who I am

They took my colour – hue of man

Perhaps I’m music – one man band

Imprisoned by woe man’s plan

But I don’t know how …to love you

Pieces of my splintered soul

Scattered round, every manhole

Craters, traps that had me snared

Stealing my fruits, left me impaired

So I sewed new seeds

Though my heart still bleeds

My reflection reads like gutter press

The mirror is my emptiness

You are the answer

My heart sings yes

The rose emerging, from my mess

But I don’t know how …to love you

I am nothing but evaporation waiting

For my chance to appear on your window

As droplets of fire like elements tamed

I am the truth that love is pain

Eviscerating the body of your past would leave you life less

There’s nothing I’d love more than to caress your battle scars and

Lick your wounds as though they were manna from heaven so

I can learn to love you as woe man to woman

But please show me how…to love you

It’s been barely plausible that I’ve been rarely audible

All depth and direction, carefree nautical

Erections from false affections seemed so cordial

But now I’m ready to give my all to you but understand

I don’t know how…so please show me now

I need to know how…to love you

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Departure Lounge

Dear

oh it doesn’t matter

Mad as a hatter because I allowed your small plate to sit next to my platter

Grace my table with irreverent chatter while I feed your mind I find myself starved of decent conversation

We twist and turn like ice creams covering ourselves in that sweet sauce of lust

A desire for a good thing causes us to trust in the idea of trust without studying the mental photo of us

We dust off our baggage and brace ourselves for a rollercoaster

We’d rather be a Warhol poster than a negative in the darkroom

Sweeping the truth with the hardbroom of ignorance to the facts

We connect better disconnected so lets not beat ourselves into this and hope friendship covers tracks

We both want new roots to replace those hacked

Been rolled up like a door mat and smoked like a cheap spliff

It’s not enough to be seen as a drug yet our abusers aren’t good enough to sniff

I find I snort the game, yet you and I are each others supply of novocaine

We need to take control again, get out the window seat and declare I’ll be fly

Develop a new operating system a new U, I

We gotta precede to proceed

Sometimes you’ve gotta be grieved to be relieved

It’s like the release of held pee after you’ve heard that flush

The grass is only greener when you’ve grown it and treated it

Only then can it be lush, plush and give you that rush

Make you feel like its slowed down to your time

Our time

That’s if after all these checks in the airport of the mind your baggage is labelled alongside mine

See I just need time to check in with my mirror before I let anyone be an extension of my reflection

I crave attention, love affection, love to be loved but times I need detention

Learn the lesson of my retention before your name is the first humane I mention cos

Even though your nearer than I think

I don’t want to miss you if I blink, dismiss you if I get a hint that something simply ain’t right

Matter of fact we’re shaking hands until I know you’ll be around to watch this ink dry

Regardless

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in his mind

His lines like intricate splashes of colour, spill on to the page like tears rolling down the mountain face

Gathering momentum as they descend because he is well grounded and his salt flavours his earth

Striving to be the salt that flavours rather than the dirt grounded by hurt

His lines monetize time hoping he’ll profit from faith in hard work

Flowing like blood around the body of truth, growing in spirit in spurts

Painting pictures of perennial punch endurance his heart is not opaque

His lines mean his audacity of hope was a slow bake but he was and still is on the rise

See in his lines, his heart has too much rhythm for him to know when he’s been beaten

Indignation seething, success still teething he takes notes of conceited believers

Recipes for deceit from facetious deceivers are levers for him to believe in the notion that perfection is found in fleeting moments

More than the results of intelligence quotients bad times will ever be the quota for a life in marvellous times

So we ignite with a life in marvellous minds, transpose to life in marvellous lines which don’t always make for those marvellous times

There’s no pardon for this grind, never milling around or spewing bile

Life is reality and we cannot afford to live in exile or domiciles of the docile

So as I learn life as his lines are my lines and in my mind I have to live my life in marvellous grinds because marvellous lines like hearts can be broken

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