Tag Archives: fears

Fear? Oh!

As a male who is happy to adapt to any city, I’m generally comfortable wherever. I’ve been to London enough times to know you have to be savvy with the way you carry things due to the sheer number of people around you at any one time. I’m privileged as a male to (rightly or wrongly) believe, that I am at a lower risk of crime against me than a female may be.

However, after my colleague’s purse was taken on the first day of our company induction in London, my awareness of my safety was heightened. I found myself holding my bag tighter, I didn’t want any bulges that told you where things were on me. I was wary of anyone in sports or casual clothing that wasn’t in line with particular looks. Wary of being in confined spaces (lifts, tube etc) with them

At the top of my suspicion list were people that looked like me, followed by other ethnicities, those who spoke English and those that didn’t. At the bottom of the list lay predominantly white professionals.

As I returned from dinner during the middle of the week it dawned on me that, I was possibly projecting. Projecting fears that never manifested themselves. Those people didn’t (and still don’t) need my stereotyping, they don’t deserve to be looked at as potential thieves or muggers who might injure me for saying no their intentions.

I recognise that I was once a young black male who was seeking to avoid being seen that way. The overall majority of people are law-abiding folk looking to get from A to B. Who am I to think the way I did? I questioned my automatic suspicion of black males as being the perpetrators. Why didn’t I think that it was simply an opportunist? Why did I think that they, along with non-English speakers to be the biggest threat to my safety?

In truth, humans will do terrible things by choice or by accident at any given point. Not everyone can afford to hire security to protect them from what may never happen. We can only take a limited number of actions to protect ourselves. Beyond that, we are at risk of damaging our own mental health by living in fear. Fear that causes anxiety by magnifying the smallest possibility of negativity. Fears that lead to words and actions that could cause harm to those we are fearful of.

Pre-emptive strikes against someone who has no intention to hurt you is your problem, not theirs.

 

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Filed under Just Living

Admission Fee

I’ve been that over zealous Casanova
My supernova’s sleeping on me
Now the flow’s diluted with copious suspicion
Can Jesus still save me if I abort this mission?
I screen time hoping my fears stop watching me
I need those collard greens to replenish my pasture
I’m pastoring my reasoning, preaching prosperity to my pondering
Drowning in the flood of next steps
I am the last breath of a frog prince
The kiss of death may be my only hope
If resurrection is for believers am I agnostic?
I’m weaving memorials with prophecy like a cross-stitch
Cull me or crown me, I’ll live or learn what loss is

I am a badger calling a spade a spade in a game of hearts
I’m on a bored walk hoping cupid can re-tip that dart
I am 180 degrees of honesty on reflection so I know in part
I impart jewels of liberation like engagement rings through inception
Is the kiss of death classed as a public sign of affection?
If so I’m collecting autographs hoping to sell them to the highest bidder
Storage wars rumble on and if I lose I’m a sinner, if I win I’m a saint
Without honour in defeat there’ll be a new past to date
So I watch and wait for that one six o’ eight

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Filed under Relationships

inkheart

Butterflies emerge from my cocoon

Life’s desire to breathe, free up my front room

My place amongst the stars seems so far,

But I know it’s just a few steps and a dream that separates me from where they are
See mists and oceans, mask my devotion, why’ve I got to drown just to fly?

When flying is close to dying if you get too close to the sun

I think we call it soul mates if you get too close to the one.
For getting too close or fear of flying breaks your heart and starts your dying,

Your love was not lying when it just wanted to live

So let it live in you for all the world to see,

Let it fertilize your dreams,

Everyone’s flight begins with fear, so many don’t get so near,

And even if your journey ends in tears and a disaster

You took a chance and that’s what matters
So shall we dance?

Flip the coin and forget where it lands

Flip the script forget the steps,

Sweeter than crepes, lets savour the place

R Kelly stepped in the name of love we stomp the yard in this place
Scoff the food from thought without saying grace,

Its a saving grace
This private attire
We melt hearts into one and solidify our desire
See no one devalues this gold
Heart’s radiant heat is too much to fan

For it is as we are
The priceless I am

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Filed under Collaborations

Underwater Love

After the sun there’s rain, after the joy’s there’s pain

We drink the coffee of reality, highs to gain

Don’t try to rewind be impressed to play

The rhythm of life will make you dance all day

Don’t be shy I say, take a dive in to fresh air

This underwater love is my agua de beber

With my time I paid, kept my mind on the lecture

Freed my soul from conjecture and stood as the deck chair

Holding court with my senses, your essence is set here

Your Words coursing through my veins, entered at my left ear

Released my net fear I profit from your pollination

For underwater love immersed my imagination

in you

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Filed under Art

And What?

Words
Strong arms fragile egos
Strong wills weakly we go
In search of forever, hoping my ever
Will design my legacy
Parental past behind eating the future ahead of me
Can’t sleep or eat for fear of not achieving their feats is an unyielding beast
All I got is beef but they call me chicken
Slave to their wrong decision
A victim of their howls of derision
Poetry is the only arena I free think in
Where opinions and philosophies got honed
Where I lay my heart I call home
Dog with a bone I’m not
I am classical hip hop
Expressive, driven message, with purpose
They say money had game but now he played and worthless
Not like I worked less or more
Counting my blessings to try and settle scores
Knocking my head against walls trying to open doors
Kick down flaws
Stay grounded, ground pounding
Stay rounded get my head around the corner
I‘m universal, they’re Time Warner
Everything’s a warning
Virtual worlds I’ve stayed warm in, my reality is so cold
Be bold, be you
They say they people see persona but they’ll see you
Everybody knows me
Say I’m food for thought but I’m so plated everybody owns me
Slated as plated gold see, these memoirs unfold like Dead Sea scrolls
I’ve learnt to float and roll with punches in bunches
Munch my hunches, swallow the bullets
Gotta stop trying and just live life to the fullest
Grow a mullet and be the lion king
Weaknesses I’m ironing
Even Iron Man had weaknesses
Do I need to a beat a leviathan?

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Filed under Random Poetics