Tag Archives: Difficulties

Hibernation, Marching On….

Six weeks or more since we spoke, that’s a long time.

Like the last cigarette of a smoker, I promised myself it wouldn’t happen again.

Carving pain with polygraphs.

Painting purposeful positions with pompous palettes rendered me empty.

Empty as the dead sea having seen and read my last rights I wondered what makes me blue.

While pondering the poignancy of strong silences and babbling brooks, fight dripped from me.

Tiptoeing away like the last breath of a beer tap. I dripped

I dripped as the infantry of my infantility

I dripped, tripped and rolled around in my barrel of conspiracy.

Being gassed wasn’t the right energy.

To thine own self, be true or make thyself an enemy.

Infamy isn’t in for me so I found the trending topic that cut into me.

Started chewing on some Emerson and audited my inventory.

Tasting the deep dark, unveiled statutes of clarity

Alas! I march on yet I’m thankful for February.

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Filed under Just Living

Dynamite Doldrums

heart crackCracks in the ground and nobody gets high
Sleeping with your troubles, its the way lovers lie
Pad, locked my heart so I’m docked at quay side
Wondering if my Indian summer’s with the crop of Teesside
Is it called falling in love if your choice reveals pride
If I’m not proud what am I?

My understanding is an overseer
Is it over, here?
Gut instincts are what I over hear
Cracks in the ground like woven tears
Colourful dreams become monochrome pastures
Moth bitten messages of hope become wounds
Fears like unexploded mines in a crowded room become the music
Shall we dance?

Around subjects like Maypoles we can find new steps
If one foot is out of time and breath, should we stop?
Cracks in the ground for toe stubs and back rubs
The harvest is silence and shoulder shrugs
What are we lying for if they only bed bugs?
A good operating system can be its own anti virus
If the foundations are of stone and papyrus, why aren’t we purple or violet?
All these reports are defiling, weakness is defining, it’s blinding.
Give a partially sighted man a diamond, he’ll still find a way to refine it.
It takes more than shine to find the reason behind the rhyme.
We play uno until that card’s declined

We’ve got to give a joint account of cracks in the ground
If nobody’s getting high where can the fire be found?
Are we blowing smoke just to keep the peace?
Have we had a stroke?
What’s the canvas?
Have we a golden fleece to reflect a value increase?
Is one eye blinkered?
Is transition to a vision that isn’t rose tinted hindering?
Can you hear a storm tinkling,
Will you look it in the eye and wink at it
Is there really joy to be found?
Did you know there’s cracks in the ground?
Ignore them for the sake of the grace in which we are found
If nothing ever changes, potentially we’ll drown
All because we never listened for the cracks in the ground.

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Filed under Relationships

La La

Lost and alone

Dog with a bone

The reflection has shaken me

Stirring my mojo into a molotov

I burn with indecision

 

Happy moments stolen like penny sweets

What am I buying?

Finding fallacies in forever

Planning orchards, cursing thorns

Am I alive until the death of a rose?

 

Turbulence framed as trivial recruiting

Meteoric melancholia manifests

Poker handshakes and chess kisses

Clandestine hope in bloom resides

Indifference wrestling lasts another round

 

Lost and alone in deeper waters

The tide of good fortune is in

Chewing all that rests before me

Standing to ponder the scale of my win

 

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Filed under Just Living, Relationships

Light A Candle

Image

They want my mete
Fried liver and cake
I got none so they take
clothes from my back and eat
Tis the one they make
I’m beat
My egg
Hard boiled refuses to crackkk
Sharks want my blood
My stake is under attack
I’m in the black
Cooked by the market
Well in the read
Just not rare enough for black
They see me so they saw me
Can’t slice me so they knife me
With legalities
The poor me pours me
Rich in spirit
Rum applauds me
Brandy brands me intoxicating
Yet they set the flame again
Stand still watching me burn
My brain turns
My two hands open to heaven
Shadrach Meshach and Abednego
My eye, the third
Looks for the fourth man
I am
Staring Nebuchadnezzar in the eye
Waiting for mine to dry because I
Am not at home in the fire
Acid tears spit from my soul
My cheeks corrode in desperation
My skeleton eats itself for inspiration
Love will find away
Blessings wiith my name
This is just a test
Wait and be patient
Are like cassettes to an Mp3 player
Sooth sayers could use sayings
To sooth the decaying
So often I feel too used to praying
Like God wants me to tell him
But I feel vain
Telling him the same again and again
Logic would call me insane
If faith was a straight jacket lock me away
Bills after bills and no money to pay
I write not sing so I don’t blow the roof away
I stay schemin and breathin
Running on steam
I’m boiling my dreams so I can drink the reality
Of Mortal combat
One hit fatality
Resurrect and gain clarity
All I want is parity
Charity I’m giving well
Hoping Karma does the same
Don’t feel me blow me
I just don’t want to sound vane
Feels like I moved mountains with my faith
To see quicksand again
Light and candle for my dark
My heart’s like ripped page to a flame
I pour vinegar in deep wounds so you can taste of my pain
Suffering violence in silence
Don’t mean my mode changed
I’ve just caught something dark without throwing shade

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Filed under Just Living

Acquainting The Bustle

She is the kind of girl to flash you and walk away
A tease
The kind that sit on the corner of your memory
Persistent , she won’t go away
She comes back in the weird places
Similar napkins ,she jotted her number on
The alcohol store you pass on the way home
That reminder
3 a.m. ten flights of stairs
She fell down
Bleeding in the backseat of the car
As she repeated that drunk girl mantra
I am just an ugly soul
Homicidal death threats to herself
You sit there wondering how
This beautiful flower has so many thorns
As her soul shreds you to pieces
Your only release is
That sad jazz melody
Playing over and over
Drowning out her memory
Her voice
You sink into your bed
Hug the loneliness
Yet her scent is in the air

I hung
Heart bigger than how
I’m hung,
Sniggers like nuts in snickers
Get under my skin and clutch triggers
You are all I need
Worth more than all I have
Less than perfect is the perfect I want
Yet you set your camps intents
Intense like maroon dessert sands
Your mantra is no more tantric
Than rancid Kcufing with your mind
My blood curdles like milk because I’ve been burned by the cow
Get off the steps of my memory and marry me
I’ll soak up your blood with my ivory and call it the path to never forgetting

This is a crime of passion that I’m aiding and abetting
Walk with me now, I’ll hug your loneliness
We can be the ish
Make me your only mess
Yes you are the girl who is prone to tease
But I am your cross and Yogi wont bare me

Impregnate me with your sins and I will bare them all

Pews made of cotton sheets

I genuflect

As I confess

I still need him

I need him to be more then a few faded memories

As I clutch to whiskey bottle

Screams bouncing off walls not in ecstasy

Silent hymns

More mourning then hallelujah’s

I feel the distance

More then your warmth

My walls may keep me secure

Yet the door can be opened

For the right price

How much are you willing to offer your heart back

When I already have it in my firm grasp

I am not the queen of hearts

Just good at breaking them

Yet i am also good at taking them

She said a diva is a female version of a hustler
In the worlds oldest profession who can really rustle her?
She be, on her grind, grinding, make up to wake up
How do you spell binding….P.I.M..P
Got the goods for take up.
Spread her rug for sale in minute or hourly turns
As she digs in her nails, ain’t only his pocket that burns
Make music and clap to it,
Half what he earns
How many halves make a whole girl?
Just the ones taking his sperms
She’s on her grind because a diva is a female version of a hustler

Crack for her crack because the rough stuff hurts
All she wants is a lover man not a brother from the corner
He got a nose for the cooking and only wants to put it on her
Big Black, China white, Charlie and Daddy
Bruises for excuse why she wouldn’t bareback gladly
She will happily bivouac, he just wants to beaver wack.
Till she met You yet you’re too nice to be with that
She has a history, a litany of misery, yet You ….
Want to unlock the prison and make her the captain of your mill

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KIM

F a love life I’m just tryna love life

I’d love to love a woman but the pen is my blood, wife

My pen knows I know just how to rub her

Doesn’t try to call it winter when it’s summer

When my pen gets broody we just make another baby

Doesn’t call me up to kcuf me then say pay me

Doesn’t pump out gay anthems then demand straight soul

You common as muck but ain’t got his universal mind control

Doesn’t let me chase her then claim to be afraid of commitment

Then advertise she needs a man in a social network listing

Doesn’t treat me like the other man when I’m vying to be the only

Claim she want’s me as her only but then want’s me to be her homie

Doesn’t say she ain’t lying but wasn’t going to tell me

That the man she wants is like me but doesn’t spell me

Doesn’t go out of her way to spend time and bewitch me

Knowing my presence will enrich her life more than Tom or Siegfried

This is ain’t white flag it’s a blitzkrieg

I’m a huddle for the scrimmage cos I don’t lip read

I can blitz read, call you out and adjust for the play

Inglourious bastard with special teams joined the fray

See hot butter is my code name

Unclog the clutter is my known aim

Big hands big heart because I catch but never throw game

Bent but never broken, open heart surgery because your soul lame

My pen’s too sick to hold blame, she’d rather burn with the truth

We remain ever young from the ink of our youth

She has bark she has bite, she has fights hard to be proof

She’s no souflle though she spits fire in the booth

And I need no insurance

Just endurance and utterance

She caught feelings like floetry and flaps her wings to my utterings

she’s got so many torches for my heart I call her audi, saturn, olympic cos don’t know where to put her rings

Got drive, gives me space, knows her position

Instead of being like olympic football, some unwanted competition

Like hurling abuse at four terrapins for not becoming turtles

This is my I could never be yours if it’s always me hurdling your hurdles

Only to hurdle your hurdles, turning the air blue instead of purple

My crowning is always verbal till dethroning comes full circle

How you’ve got the hots for me when in my heat you’ve turned orange

Exposed your fake tan, your soft centred like a lozenge

We’re untied by your odd ends roped by insurrection

I put cupid’s arrow in my compass while some use his marrow for errection

G Funk Selection call this midnight in a perfect world

I only got room for one love and my pen is my girl

So yeah I said it F a love life I’m just tryna love life

I’d love to love a woman but the pen is my blood, wife

Listen to KIM now!!

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Filed under Random Poetics

Rain of the Damned (Collab w/ Destiny Equality)

You make me nervous with emotions
that have my head spinning
love is quickening like an overdue foetus within my womb
labour pains from insanity clinging to dear life now
you call me an emotional leach a puppy begging for scraps
something synonymous with the clap
scabs come from fine g owning up to my faults
i don’t bargain with the devil even if i am evil according to her
these hurt feelings go deeper and i can’t be found
for me i am too far gone 2b proud even if the volume is loud
~
You sliced open my vein with your vanity
The cult of insanity panic filled piety
Anemic desires ride the wave of my red cells
No white flag for this war of contrition
Iambic bells ring in my grey matter colouring my meter
Sheltering my necrosis,
My cries peter out for the hand that beats me as it feeds me
I’m a fiend for the fight and bite
Can’t always be a designer light
I yearn for a refining sight, an injection of a lighter plight
A flight of fantasy with out plans to dismantle me
So many spit bars, simply to manhandle me
Am I star or just a rock passed around by the bulls
Precipitating lakers I burn from the glare of green and red eyes

~
I am impaled with hurt feelings angels with tainted wings
tainted stains of embezzlement there is no turning back
there is no justice always orders of chaos eons go onward
that seem appealing unimportant non withstanding
mentalities that are as strong as lizards tongues
small changes and frail refrains what have i become
since vanity is my defaulting reality players become revolting
after all snitches get there throats slashed
and nice guys finish last
some can exacerbate on this
here fate which is tainted with hate
make sure when you come
come correct i expect these feelings to endure
its a war of words a heart unheard
kicking rocks at dirt with measured worth
spurts of rainbows become halos with flames exploding
eroding the essence of expression second guessing
what we wrap around the truth

~
Yet your lies stand up ass straight in a bed of knives
Cut in the dead of nights cursing the day break
Me off at the roots cos all I have is black thoughts
Rolling like credits through my movements end game
They mutter like hidden scenes, their refrain is in their pen game
Breaking the rules of pengagement its time I married the sonic boom
Got some guile in this moment to break the legions of doom
It’s like I’m wrestling a butterfly with a lizard tongue that only wants to kiss me
I long to bloom without the act of diss me till I miss me

~
there is a tidal wave of purging
asinine regurging almost verbatim
go on an hate on me while i hate on you
i know a jewel you will never have the currency for
the wickedness thinking you know it all
all you do is fall quicker then humpty dumptys walls
think i would get caught up call my bluff
7 years of bad luck don’t combine
with 7 years of no dick
you wish you had that opposite purity
so relationships become cumbersome
just to get an injection of his erection
bitch butch touch the flame is it hot enough
could you distance yourself
some just flipflop through ageless time warps
no recourse in these forms
its always these bad feelings that keep me waning

~
The way your framing this you’re fraying
Random aiming, Donkey braying,
Too much time on your knees but ain’t no muslim praying
Monkey see monkey do so call it Tarzan Janing
This melodies unchaining, remedy’s enslaving
Diana car crash live, my memories en-graving
Yeah I know I come for some
Heart heavy call it cumbersome
Dark mood ejaculation fcuk me I’m a come for sun
Bend it over till it moons make it toss my ballad
Watch green eyes roll and call it tossing salad
You floss, your haggard, drop your scabbard
Life’s a game and a dance I will not be daggered
Murked by your machina muerte
Call it the sound of a mud hound as I sniff out earthly
Pretenders to my place and among the celestial
No longer the bestial
For too long have these kickstands masqueraded as pedestals

~

too much cruelty in this bitchass reality
it sits sourly upon my stomach
too much heartache that can plummet
call it a summit a novelty were used too
love seems cowardly when everyone is nervous
heartless cougars brutally shed tears at playboy years
time is up amongst pyramids and kings
bloodstains on white sheets virgin beats
while HIV runs itself ramped in the streets
its chaos with poetic crayons
get strung along the way love
while players play with guns and shoot
never finding there way to the roots
thinking its cute to hold hostages
its preposterous at this point
but who cares to hear from
dark clouds that fall down
since we all do
hurt feelings…

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Filed under Collaborations