Tag Archives: change

Halfway House

“One day your metabolism will slow down and your appetite will catch up with you.”

“Go to the gym now so that you don’t have to work as hard when you’re older”

“You look OK from the back but you’re a mess from the front”

“I like that you’ve got something to hang on to”

Being physically appealing from the neck down has never appealed to me. However, as time has gone on, despite eating healthy without calorie counting, my lifestyle has impacted what I can wear. In 2017 I was wearing hoodies 24/7 to disguise my burgeoning belly despite walking 30 miles a week.

By the end of 2018, I had outgrown even the new shirts and had begun to wear a big jumper over what I had. I looked at myself in the mirror with disgust and shame. Even the stress of work couldn’t take away from the fact that I was a mess, and I couldn’t trust myself to do a solo workout in the gym I’d signed up to.

I saw that an 8-week challenge was about to happen at my gym (True Grit Training) and thought I’d give it a go. High-intensity circuit training wasn’t new to me, I’d done “caveman training” beforehand lost some weight. However, the Paleo diet they preached wasn’t for me, I resented the food choices available. Heck, this week I’ve eaten cauliflower for the first time in about 3 / 4 years.

The first 3D scan told me I was practically a chocolate Buddha standing at just over 6ft tall – my heaviest in 10 years. This time I couldn’t rely on a messy break up to lose a stone in a week, it would be sheer hard work and disciplined eating. I sought to motivate myself over the long term so I set my weight target for the year and not the program. I also adjusted my approach to eating this time around. Rather than have a specialised set of foods for the purpose of the program, I chose to apply the lower carb higher protein principle to what I would eat on a regular basis.

In practice, the evening meals have been the same mix of fish, white and red meat with rice or sweet potatoes that I eat week in week out. Breakfasts and lunches have seen switches away from cereals and sandwiches or heavier cooked meals.

After 40 classes over 8 weeks, days before my final scan, I am ready to treat myself. I know I’ve lost over a stone in weight, I am one waist size down in formal trousers. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see a crazy amount of change in my shape. What I do see, is a man who is on the right path, a man who has put his mind to a mix of extreme, spinning, strength and other circuit classes. I don’t yet have the body I want but to paraphrase Bon Jovi, oh ….I’m halfway there.

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Filed under Just Living, Non Poetic Blogs

New Year New….Journey?

New Year New….Journey?

Some things have to stay in the past, no matter how hard you want to drag them into the present. That goes for good things that happened in the previous year too.

I could give you half a dozen titles and hundreds of words for blog posts I wrote (and remain in draft form) reflecting on 2018. I had hoped to give you a glimpse into practical highs, crushing lows and express thankfulness for everything in between. Instead I posted a poetic expression of a very stressful that situation that occurred recently.

I’m not the New Year, new me type, never have been. Maybe that was my go with the flow mentality. Significant changes every year for who? Me? For a few years, my end of year reflections started in October and changes began in November. Whatever calendar you work with, change has to start as soon as you’re ready to start changing. Simple, isn’t it?

Just knowing you came out the other side is as inspirational as any detail you could explain. The new you begun before anyone else could start putting up social media posts about what they would or wouldn’t be doing for the next year.

A new year may not bring or require wholesome change. There may be situations or seasons that have started at different times and require your investment to maintain or improve them. You could have started a job or taken up a hobby, you may be a parent and simply have seen your child grow up a little more. It is likely that you will have different things in different areas of your life that require your efforts. There is a journey to be had whether you are starting, maintaining or finishing something.

Can you trust yourself to acknowledge what has happened at a particular time and simply take only what is necessary into the next interaction, the next phase? Take enough fuel for the journey and burn it accordingly.

Although the stories of how we got from A-B are incredibly important. We cannot carry every book in its entirety with us. For us to live and move forward in life we must let them live in their space. That space may be the museum of unshared blogs or diary entries. That space may be a one off reading at an open mic, a WhatsApp message. That space may even be a single photo, a phone call or meeting at a café.

What are you keeping in your space in this season? What are you fuelling your journey with?

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Filed under Just Living

Lament of a Psalmist

lament

You can feel intimate with a militant. 

They seem so real, yet when you touch them, you feel silicone. 

But God said! So their thus said is legitimate. 

Ignorant innocents are impudent kites

Hold on or be hung by string theory

Holy rollers become weed smokers.

Unnoticed, Moses became the Joker

Deleting pixels for their picture a bat symbol, not magnum opus

Hopeful loyalists practice upper lip stiffness as wisdom

Won’t take a knee or comb the heir to the family business.

Live in a dragons den whispering their knowledge of the litmus.

This divine monopoly’s a comedy of vapours and groupthink.

Where the audience is clowned for pointing out it stinks.

Rub sticks and create fire or feel the sword like molar of holy rollers

Code masters unmask the mode of most high and create players to sacrifice.

Who am I?

A born sinner, a dinner, a lost soul to a soul winner that won’t vary the bait.

Space invaders, snipers, rangers marshal the momentum of the naysayer.

Demon days filled with gorillas, gargoyles and goblins are a Lord’s Prayer.

Whose frames do you wear? Do you die or dare? Be a black life, matter?

I see red tape masters speak tongues in monotones like heaven’s got their name on the deed.

With all of these gang signs and storms seen I’m falling through my flaws.

My moorings are unsure and I’m dying to breathe, searching for answers.

If the real God we can’t see, is it because of us or gospel gangsters?

 

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Filed under Random Poetics

Dusted

leaving home

I was a Lego brick on heaven’s tables with ambitions of being Babel

It would be gravy if I trained well.

I wore the King James label like Air Jordans as an enabler to tap the mike

Cutting shapes for the sake of grand designs lit the eyes.

This mind was primed to freehand more than stencil.

The palette was filled with many colours yet I could only use one

Chew the word and bite your tongue, a babbling baby is free speech.

Slap you with psalms 1 -1 take the p when they reach

They besmirch and beseech the only souls that matter are those of their feet.

Watch how you breathe for Bruce Banner can’t stand spanners in the manor.

What’s love for the poets if you put slammers in the slammer.

Play hangman with every hang up, kill a so-called joker if they stand up

Raise your voice or raise the standard, one day I put my hands up

See I’d chewed on the green grass of home like it was magnanimous manna

How can you be two-faced if you don’t know you’ve got a mask on?

Why fight when I was rapt in the moment that my modem connected.

I didn’t know the download had been infected.

Exceptions and rules wisdom and fools the best fell afoul of while many played chicken.

To challenge was to play hopscotch in a minefield.

Jet fuel from a pulpit could melt your steel if you didn’t have the minerals

They built you so they can kill you.

They built you so they can kill, you.

I’d heed them and repent for I’m a heathen, seedling of evil if I believed them.

I counted years as days, days as hours, hours as minutes and in 15 I’d lost 30

In his eyes were fire and from his mouth swords but this revelation was not written by John.

The shoes I walked in were gone. Was heaven under new management?

Thought I was strapped in! Madness!

Stunned, I snapped into a coma, knowing I could explode at any moment.

Burnt by the cold and homeless, I should have known this was coming.

As the truth created fractions, my history was flagged to be deleted.

I learned that secrets were common knowledge and life hacking wasn’t to make things easier

So I vowed I wouldn’t give them flowers when they’ve kicked the bucket just to keep up appearances.

I’m no longer dumbfounded by the conceited for the mask has fallen.

They put karma’s face on the coin so I dare them to call it.

 

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Filed under Random Poetics

Haiku – #ALM

Watermelon smiles and trigger happy chickens.

Melting pot meltdowns.

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Filed under Random Poetics