I wonder what if I had disobeyed so called guidance and played to the gallery of my strengths. Raised my number of reasonable grades and been between the C and A’s my intelligence deserved.
I wonder if I’d told them where to stick their work now play later ethics would I have earlier learned to be less reserved.
For now I yearn to enjoy life like I should have when I was younger.
I wonder what if it was me who went to a university in a city of stars and high lives, would I get high fives or sharp knives.
Would I be the subject of study rather than disdain.
I wonder if they’re blind to the real me because I haven’t met expectations.
I play strong silent until I’m burdened with vexations.
I’m too fly to be off the handle so I endure with patience yet I have to sell like Asians, the essence and science of my ingrained convictions.
Prove myself worthy of my existence.
I wonder why they call a spade a spade yet dirty my kitchen because they really ain’t digging the true me.
See sometimes they claim to know me better than I do yet can’t act on the mirror like I do.
Maybe its because I know my reflection.
History repeats itself like the gloomy mist after a conservative won election.
All I ever heard was my imperfection until I did them a favour and played to their favourite phrase of “you don’t listen” just so I can learn to love me.
Not sometimes
But always.


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