I want to wake up in the reality of your beauty having fallen asleep in the fantasy that you were mine and I was yours. I want to be enamoured with the duty to be true and loving, while you reflect on how loved opened the door. For now I walk on the other side of the road holding your hand with my heart until we can meet at the crossing and the light is the green of our pasture. I’ll slow down or walk faster but never past you because  truth be known your inside so you might as well be by my side.  In love

This type love

I want a love but not any kind of love

I want a how was your day here’s a hug type love

Not I’m getting paid to say hey you type love

Not a I’m here till I find a way to play you type love

I want a quick kiss and hug type love

A fight till we say I love you and goodnight type love

Fancy you like primary school days type love

Not a bed fellow on relay type love

Not an L U V as long as I buy you an S U V type love

I don’t want a go home after a nut type love

I want a crack a bottle and laughs at full throttle type love

Dutty wine for being on my grind type love

Pour your mind and enrich my soul type love

Even when we’re alone God is in control type love

Tucked away like a mole type love,

Filling holes we find instead of making them bigger type love

I’m your husband not your negro type love

A shoulder to cry on not a platform for your ego type love

I want a sex starts in the mind before the physical outlay type love

Not a once year on valentine day type love

Your eternal chocolate not just a piece of it type love

Can anyone tell me what I’m supposed to call this type of love

See I heard it in def poetry Shihan called it this type love

But sipping the tea from the time I know what I want aint his type love

Its all about a give type love, a learn as you live type love

For love is a gift, a compromise for the mix appreciating each twist

It’s not how we work our hips or swinging from the words on your lips

It’s a get to grips with peaks and pits type love

Take the licks with the licks type love

See in this type love my teeth my need may to grit but I aint salty

See in this type love I’m a go to the wire for you but I aint Mcnulty

See in this type love, I want to inspire and be admired by you

For in this type love I want time to tell us our love is true

See in this type love I want to be blind

See in the type love I want to feel from heaven we are entwined

Designed by perfect purpose complimenting imperfections cos that’s what love is

Infectious

See in this type love we are altruistic transcendents of one ego

Experiencing higher and lower times than Vegas or Reno

We know because our inner compass guides us as we go

Into that type love pushing the buttons of intimacy because your music  is my selection

When we’ve become that portrait of eternal reflection,

In that type love you are my wholeness injection,

My first lady from this divine election

See you and I together baby you and I are this type love

I don’t get you,

If I got you then that would mean I have you,

If I had you would I own you or just a piece of you?

A piece of truth and peace with you would make me pleased with you,

Pleasing you would give me peace for true,

See I feel the beat with you,

Rock the boat and feel your rhythm, you are the light I am your prism,

So shine through the windows of my soul,

Let us be imprisoned in the music,

Unlocking the you in me will be beautiful

I will be dutiful, want to see us being fruitful,

We will be pure cool,

Hotter than any sunbeam,

I want to nourish your mind as you fertilise our dream,

You give me a reason to have eyes for seeing,

My heart is the morning bird that sings,

For you and I together, are the most powerful being.

Waking up each day to a grave cacophony
My Lazarus complex got me in check for how its got to be
I’m sick of playing money games when I aint gained the monopoly
Working life reducing shifts feeling like I’m a slave to poverty
Aint losing my head yet they challenge me follicly
Love is a losing game so hear my soliloquy

Spengler – Beautiful

Stumbled on this while chilling late night. I guess its time to introduce you to more than my lyrics. Enjoy

It’s like watching comedy repeats

The way we promise new feats

Except the joke’s no longer funny

Do we need to retreat?

We’ve barely warred

Yet our battles don’t leave me loving you more

Its nothing or all

Backwards logic says we set out to stall

When we set out our stall

Instead of giving our all driving on loves super high way

We use facts for traffic face-offs at the junction of my way

Stalemating

Using female psychology for male-baiting

Silent treatment for jail baiting

We talk about making love but we’re just stale mating

I’ve hailed waiting

Hailed the gaining,

But I’m not prevailing when patience is a virtue that hurts too

So I work through, waiting for a change, improved situation

Yielding mental constipation, consternation examining wisdoms call for

A Blatant

Screw you and your reasoning

Your reasoning’s getting chewed and spat like chicken without seasoning

My head or my heart which am I believing in?

One reaches for a notion then the other just reels me in

See sometimes your feelings fill me in, appeal to me

But the hand I’m dealt seems to be dealing me

You say the house of spades is what makes you and me we

But I joined the club as jack of spades with my ace in the hole

Hoping to be King of Hearts with a queen to compliment my soul

Yet in this game we’ll fold for we’re no more a pyramid than a house of cards

And read my poker face you can’t because of the lock on my heart

Should we allow ourselves to be parted like the sea of red

Is romance dead?

Is second chance the said shotgun to my head?

Are we destined to lose out because a loss of control

Are love poems nothing more than dead emcee scrolls

Can the concept of us exist or should it go to the polls

Let publics hold up us up for scrutiny

Or do we truly need to examine the level at which you and me can truly be

I know what you’ve meant to me but for all my flavour but I lost the taste of my identity

I wonder whose thirst will be quenched with me

I live, I am I begin again as me

We lived, we were, and still are an entity

Full of energy or empathy

Truth decides our future

Are you cursing or blessing me

Pray

Effectively this weeks notebook,  poetic scrawls and other writing. Enjoy!

4^th Jan 2010

I want you so badly see

I’ve been trying to find a good one

You’ve just landed see

Want you to wade in to my sea

Man up and handle me

Love is blind so let us swim

Intimacy

5 January 2010

You may not have asked me for it but I know you want it

The concept affects my make up like a bad orthodontist

We make for classic reading like Charlotte Bronte

In spite of all that’s gone you hint that I’m the one

Every day feels like a slow walk to Rubicon

I can’t decide whether it’s a lead weight or a plated medallion

6 January 2010

So it the fan and the tears spray

It’s a time when I all I want to do is pray

Will he hear me?

Passion and style

If I left would you cry?

Tears of a child

Because you missed me or just why

Did it take this while?

To collate my list of demands

Free my style

Mature my inner child

Stop being servile

By your insecurity riled

Being comfortable doesn’t mean secure in my eyes

Needing surety, I compromised on purity

Subtle slave to your self

I delved for clues in me

Could I call it fickle or

Your faux insecurity

Lines have been drawn for me

I saw the outline

You coloured in accordingly

It’s always been there but I ignored it see

I’ve been apt in my use of tact

I’ve not snapped or lacked the wisdom to help you act

Quietly tracked and with love backed

Left you to own the action without suspicion

That’s fact not fiction

Tried to motivate and be uplifting

Now I’m parked at the gate of need with keys in the ignition

See I know weight is an issue

Grown around it so I’ve not used it to abuse or diss you

Yet this thing is only still going because it fits your hand

I had dreams very grand but the blueprint is being buried in the sand

If I could sculpt you it’d be with a hammer and sickle

I’m sick of your fickle, precipitation trickle,

Sweet and tough like peanut brittle

But with time running out we’re just

Brittle

Yet I’m gaining in strength

It’s a little false that you say I raise and dent

Your confidence

When you acknowledge you need to lose weight

Go the gym for some days straight

Its big show how much you go

But 3 weeks later put on weight

You always seem to make it a we thing

I’m acting to lose weight to but I’ve told you from the off it’s a you and me thing

I can’t be our battery and engine

Your say you’re sick of being the fat girl

Treated like the fat girl

If you don’t want to be that you’ve really got to act girl

I know its hard getting started and to build endeavour

I protect you from outside pressure but I’m feeling more stressed out than ever

How much more can I give before I give up for ever?

Say my family’s throwing crap at you just by saying you need to lose weight

I remember you dumped and were ready to jump to a first date

Used to tell me every week who wants your number

Who’s chatting you up

Who keeps looking in your direction

No I’m not perfection but my loyalty is being tested

I compromised on something I lived for all my life

I sacrificed and had thoughts of you being my wife

But I’ve realised you’re my first and had to open my eyes

I’m doing my part to fulfil your needs, your desires

I don’t start many fires and you’ve not fired my circumstances at me

But the one thing in I need I’m not been given see

It all comes down to R.E.S.P.E.C.T

This man cannot live alone on your personality

I love substance but you’ve got to be attractive to me

Not just attracted to me

I can’t be in the company of your friends anymore thinking which of them is a better match for me

I know who would instantly get approval from the family

Buts its not about that,

P.S. I love you

Actually

See I’m struggling because this issue is bubbling

We’re going to burst if you don’t stop ignoring it subtly

It would quench my thirst if this issue was removed double quick

Be the change to see the change and be done with it

I’ve lit the torch, taken the baton, been burnt but still I’ve run with it

Enough is enough

I’ve been through the valleys to change me now it’s your turn

Will you be here to love me or will you be leaving at the end of term

“I Dont Wanna Hear How 2010 is Gonna Be “Your Year”, Or How 2010 is A “Time for Change”, I Been Hearing That Year After Year, So Quit Procrastonating and do what you Gotta do…….I speak to myself as I do you all”

My inspiration for my 7^th of 30 poems comes from a Facebook status on the 16^th of December posted by a talented musician friend of mine known as “Silverchet”. Follow @silverchet on twitter.

16 December at 18:19 ·

 

Rebirth control

At the end of every year we engage in a ritual of giving and receiving presents, to some we give our presence, to others we scribe from a sample of our essence.

Taking time to recharge, a new year will it bring a new start, a new chapter new lessons?

Will we have counted our blessings, paused for reflection, spotted our contradictions and created new traditions?

Halted attrition of self ignition

Or will we simply continue unpause the game from the X box

Continue where we left off

Revive the consternation instead of tidying our desktop

Let our system hang and our heads drop

Beheaded because we’re big headed

Talk about change yet we’re dreadlocked

Locked in dread because change means the whole head

We’ve got to brain wash and condition in order to sew fruition

We talk about chasing the dream not the competition

Every new year is a new you year until problems hit then, those resolutions…

Those Resolutions

Those revelations that made you make statements

How you knew they were pain staking but resolute enough

Yeah … those solutions, improvements…those resolutions that had so you so focussed you had me thinking change was embedded in your follicles

Only for 6 months later change is soluble like aspirin

Did you think change was a sprint?

Did you think  change would be a Usain of the bolt type change

Sweep you off your feet and leave you with no time to breathe type change

Where is the new you I say?

It takes pain to move pain because something has to die before you come back to life

Pre mortem dissection, microscopic detection for signs of regression

Grown folk need a soul session not a 1 month campaign at every month 11

Yelling to the world from midnight of the 31^st I begin my resurrection

Obama’s slogan for election

I am who I choose to be and when I start’s change in me it is for my refreshment

It’s a present to my presence, my essence, my gain

Drink to a year of pain to locate the step up, celebrate finding it, then put up, shut up or full on step up.

Wake up, Get Up for the shooting range, take your best shot at life and work towards your main aim

For when your breath is short and your soul’s screaming to get away

You better be elected, there’ll be no more campaign, no more rebirth

Your life’s been your day to prove your worth

But how will you handle your 31^st?

My estate was so low it was underground

I was a commoner with the common sound that only rebounded

Off the walls of unbelief

The language of faith and love was my only release to the sky

My family and I could only dance to the beat of a supernatural cry

For I was not a Jew but a gentile

10 a penny to the select wise

A reptile ordained as a king by the most high

So be careful of the verbs you let fly

For the commonest commoner may have come on earth with royalty in their bloodline